


Collect the Moments

by Mightybignein (Blueberryshortcake)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Engagement, F/F, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 12:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17981054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueberryshortcake/pseuds/Mightybignein
Summary: Beau and Jester make their way to the Coast to give Jester's Mom some good news. Beau has quiet doubts about if she'll be welcomed into the family.





	Collect the Moments

“I am so excited!” Jester grinned, her tail wiggled in emphasis. She reached out and grasped Beau’s hand.

Beau rubbed her face covering her own smile. She squeezed Jester’s hand.

“You sure she’ll be cool? I mean…I uh…” Beau’s hand moved up to her hair smoothing it down. She wondered if she should let it down or keep it up. 

“Why wouldn’t it be cool?” Jester cocked her head, amusement dazzling her eyes. “You’ve met my Mama before.”

Beau cleared her throat, “Well that was… I mean… the others were there those times, and we weren’t… you know,” She brought up their clasped hands the engagement ring on Jester’s finger sparkling in the sunlight. She was still proud of that find. Had to stomp on a fish monster, but it was worth it. 

_ “Definitely magical,” Caleb told her.  _

_ She winced. That meant utility over aesthetic right? It wouldn’t be fair to take it for what she had planned if someone else in the group needed it.  _

_ “What does it do?”  _

_ “Mm, the person you ask will probably say yes if you offer this ring to them on one knee,” He gave her a sly look. She punched him a bit harder than intended in the arm.  _

Jester perked up. “Oh we’ll definitely be cool Beau. Mama will be SO happy!” 

“I just want to make a good impression is all…” 

Jester went on her toes and kissed her cheek. Beau melted into a goofy smile.

“You’ve already made a good impression, Beau!”

“I mean… a good impression as your fianc é e.”

Jester squeezed her hand. “You’re here beside me. What more would Mama want?” 

Beau had never been the type to worry about what someone’s Mama would want, but Jester’s Mom loved her daughter in a way that Beau never got from her own parents. Marion Lavvore would want the best for her daughter. Was a scrappy homeless monk who lived out of pocket really going to be good enough? Beau was steeling herself for it, no matter what Jester said. Beau had never been good enough before. Not until Jester and Jester was so… 

Jester glanced over at her noticing her inner turmoil. “Beau! Stop it!” 

“Stop what?” Beau’s head shot up. 

“Whatever bad thing about yourself you’re thinking,” Jester said sternly. She knocked her with her hip for emphasis. “I love you. It hurts me when you do that you know. I understand why… but I don’t want you to feel bad about yourself, because you’re so amazing.” 

“Jessie.” Beau blushed. 

“We’re almost there,” Jester smiled. 

_ “I’m happy for you both,” Yasha told her. She was the first to notice the ring on Jester’s finger. “You’re a good fit. You protect each other.” _

_ “Yeah I punch and she heals.” _

_ “Yeah,” Yasha agreed, “But also… you let her open up in ways she isn’t able to. You let her get mad. She needs that… and … I think she lets you be happy.” Yasha thought about it and patted her arm.  _

_ “Hold her close.”  _

\--

Marion greeted her daughter as expected.

“Ah! Jester!” She hugged Jester tight and hard. Love and relief. Beau forced herself not to think about her own family. Did she really have a right to try to insert herself in this one? 

“I am so glad to see you back,” She kissed her daughter’s forehead before finally letting her go.

“Hello Mama,” Jester said, her own voice filled with a happy wistfulness. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, I got your messages, but it’s not the same as seeing you here.” Marion looked up and greeted Beau as well.

“Beauregard, hello.” She smiled genially. “Are you two alone? Where are the rest of your friends?”

“Oh they had to take care of a few things in Zadash, but Caleb has gotten really powerful now and he can teleport them to us when they’re done! Mr. Yussa taught him!” Jester said. “But Mama, there’s another reason why we’re here.” 

Beau shuffled awkwardly, but caught herself. She had to put her best foot forward. She stood up straight and tried to smile a little. 

“ _ You look like you’re gonna tear out somethin’s guts, just relax, will ya?” _

_ “This is so stupid. I can be normal. I can smile normally. I’ve done it before right?” _

_ “Yeah, ya have,” Fjord rolled his eyes. “When you relax! You’re trying to force it too much. How do you feel right now” _

_ “Frustrated.” _

_ “It shows. Look. Putting people at ease is showing a part of yourself is at ease too.” _

_ “I’m not at ease though!”  _

_ “You had a blissful smile kicking that knoll in the face. You know that talk’n ta people is less dangerous, right?”  _

_ “It’s Jester’s mom.”  _

_ “Yeah, and she’s not going to tear you apart like that knoll was trying ta. She likes you. She’s gonna like you more.”  _

_ “I can’t even smile without creeping people out.” _

_ “Alright, alright. When you feel like you’re fucking it up, look at Jester.” _

_ “Huh?” _

_ “Trust me. You feel like you’re giving a serial killer smile, just look at Jester.” _

_ “Won’t that be fucking worse?!?”  _

She was looking at Jester now as the nervous butterflies panicked in her stomach. Jester was so happy. So eager to tell her Mom the news. So joyful. That was the thing about Jester. You couldn’t help but feel joy when you were by her. It was contagious, her kind spirit.

Marion looked from her daughter and then glanced at Beau. Beau felt it on her own face. She was smiling with the love she felt for her fianc é e. 

_ “You’ll be fine,” Nott told her.  _

_ “Do I have a look on my face that says something?” Beau asked.  _

_ Nott snorted. “I’ve been there. Mother-in-laws can be terrifying. Yeza’s mother was an intimidating woman. “Very protective of her son. Nothing was ever good enough for her.” _

_ Beau frowned. “So what? She didn’t like you?” _

_ “She loved me. She wasn’t affectionate mind. It was more her actions than anything. I was the person that made her son happy. Weird little Veth made her son smile. I was… I was always surprised how she took it. She wasn’t a naturally nice woman, but if anyone said a bad word about me she was the first to whack them with her parasol to defend my honour.”  _

“Mama, we’re getting married,” Jester showed her mother the engagement ring. Marion’s jaw dropped. Beau readied herself for the rejection. Jester happily came beside her taking her hand. 

“Oh,” Marion gasped softly. 

Suddenly Beau was being smooshed against Jester Marion hugging them both.

“Oh, oh!” Marion didn’t seem to have words.

“I--” Beau didn’t really know what to say either so everyone came out at once. “I love your daughter, and I … I will always look after her. And take care of her. And … I don’t know uh. Be there. Beside her. I don’t have a lot to offer but--”

Jester was unhanded and Marion turned all her attention to Beau. She had her by the shoulders gazing at her. 

“That’s all I could want for her.” Marion said. “Someone beside her who loves her forever. Oh. I’m so happy.” She was tearing up.

“Mama! Don’t cry!” Jester laughed. She moved to hug her mother.

“But my little girl, getting married.” Marion sniffed delicately. “You’ll… you’ll do it here, won’t you?” She asked looking at Beau looking a little nervous herself. “Or… did you parents want it to happen in the Empire?”

“Of course we’ll do it here,” Beau said quickly. “I--Uh--I don’t--I’m not good with my parents, but even if I was Jester explained… I mean… uhhhh. We want to do it here if it’s not inconvenient.”

“No! Of course not!” Marion swept her into her arms again. Jester’s family was definitely a hugging one. Beau forced herself to loosen her tense shoulders. Marion seemed happy. Really happy. Not … not disappointed or suspicious or angry. 

This felt… good. And right. Like how things were supposed to be between Moms and daughters. 

_ “Family is a lot different than I thought it was,” Caduceus told her.  _

_ “How do you mean?” Beau asked.  _

_ “My family was very close. We loved each other… even when we weren’t kind.” _

_ “I guess meeting mine gave you new perspective.” _

_ “Hm? No… I don’t… no offense intended Ms. Beau, but I don’t think I’d call them your family.” _

_ “Huh, then… what do you mean?” _

_ I meant how a group of people not connected by deed or blood could be so close. That I’ve come to view you all as apart of myself in a way beyond friendship. I thought it was a matter of blood, but I think it’s a matter of love.” He smiled at her. "So those people that raised you. I don't think they have a link to you that's stronger than us. So I don't think they get to call themselves your family when you have us."  _

Jester and her Mom happily talked about wedding plans now as Beau sat back her adrenaline crashing hard. Beau had never pictured herself ever being more than a lone wolf. But then she found friends who were just as messed up as her. Then she found acceptance. Then they all worked on their problems and encouraged each other in their own weird way, and suddenly she had people who cared. Whose love wasn’t necessitated on whether she did what they wanted. She remembered the arguments she got in with Caleb, always being surprised when neither of them left, and that afterwards there was… talking and apologizing. Like Caleb thought he owed it to her... like she thought he owed it to him. She hadn't had that before. Yasha watching her back in a fight, being able to trust someone had her back. Caduceus not giving her weird looks when she told him she felt at home in a fight and seeing that as a strength not a defect. Nott telling off her parents ‘I’ve had to live without my son because of a curse, what the FUCK is your excuse?.’ Fjord helping her communicate. Jester opening her up to love, and being loved. Long lasting romance that didn’t end with cold bed sheets. 

Family. 

“So..." Jester said. "I think Caduceus is going to officiate, although I’m sorta going to add stuff too because the Traveler will want to be involved, and you’re going to give me away, and Caleb is gonna give Beau away.”

Beau snorted. “The older brother I never had.” 

“Fjord’s the best man and Nott is the Maid of Honour and Yasha’s going to be the flower girl!”

“Flower Barbarian,” Beau corrected with a grin. She paused, “And uh… I’m all for what you decide about the wedding, but maybe let’s leave a chair open… for Molly? He… he would have been happy for us, you know?”

Jester nodded sadly. “He would have loved a wedding, wouldn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

\--

She went out on the balcony staring out at the ocean. It still put a weird sensation in her stomach. Something so huge just existing, with all its hidden mysteries underneath.

“Oh, Beau! I was looking for you.” Marion came out beside her. Beau tensed. Fuck maybe this was it then. When Marion tells her she’s not good enough for her daughter. 

“Hey,” Beau said trying to look casual and not defensive or nervous. 

“I… wanted to talk to you about … your engagement.” Marion said slowly. She looked guilty. 

“What about?” What would she say? It didn’t matter did it? Cause she loved Jester with all her heart, even if her Mom doesn’t like it. But Jester loves her Mom so much, it wouldn’t be fair to cause a rift… but--

“I was in love once. He made me so happy. He always made me laugh. I thought…” She trailed off. “Jester is in love with you.”

“And I love her,” Beau said defensively.

“I just want to make sure I--” Marion took a breath. “I want to trust you like she trusts you. She always talks about you in her messages. I knew before now… that she cared a great deal for you. I… see myself when I was young and foolish. I don’t want to see myself in Jester like that, so I want to get to know you… to remind myself that you aren’t him. Aren’t like him. That you’ll stand beside her.”

Beau knew how she would have reacted before Jester and the Mighty Nein. She would have gotten defensive. She would have seen Marion’s doubt and lashed out. Seen the doubt as evidence of Beau not being good enough, and in her own way she would have proved that doubt, by running from it. 

“There’s a whole line of people that would kick my ass if I ever hurt Jester,” Beau told her. “One of them knows how to shoot fire out of his hands, and one could probably break me in half with her pinky, but I’m not worried that’ll happen. I’m never going to leave Jester. She’s… she’s the first person where I felt like I was worth something, and she’s made me a better person. I love her. I… I don’t really know how to convince you of that, but your daughter is a strong woman. She’s saved me in so many ways. She’s healed me when I’m hurt. She listened to me when I needed to talk, she’s cried with me, she’s told me it’s going to be alright. I… there’s no one I would rather be with. There’s nothing I would leave her for. Someone could offer me a mountain of gold right now to leave her and I wouldn’t be tempted. She’s worth the world to me… so I… aw man… I don’t know… I just. I won’t hurt her. I promise. I mean, I’m terrified she’s going to realize there’s someone better one day and be stuck with me.” 

Beau jumped when a hand squeezed her shoulder. 

“My daughter knows what makes her happy. You do. Don’t doubt that Beauregard, it’s all over her face. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. We’re going to be family and I can’t think of a better person than the woman that makes my daughter radiate happiness like she was today.”

“No… I mean… I get it. You got a sh--a bad deal with her Dad. I can see how that would f--mess a person up.”

“I got her though,” Marion smiled. “So I won’t ever regret that, and… I don’t regret his love either. I think I see now, the difference.”

“The difference?”

“The difference between a passing love and an eternal one.”

Beau went red.

Marion giggled. “Sorry, I read a lot of romances, perhaps that’s a little bit cheesy?” 

“No, no, no, no it’s uh, no it’s cool, Marion,” Beau squeaked. 

Marion laughed and put an arm around her shoulder leading her back into the apartments. “You’re going to have to start calling me Mama. You’re going to be my daughter-in-law after all.”

“Oh! Uh…! Really?”

“Of course.” 

“O-okay, you really uh...  it’s not too--?”

“It would make me very happy, as long as you’re comfortable with it, Beauregard.”

Beau smiled. “No… I’m… I’m really honoured, that’s all.” 

“My family is very small, I’m so glad it’s growing,” Marion hugged her. “Goodnight, we’ll talk more in the morning. Thank you for reassuring me. You’re a good person, Beau I’m glad you’ve found your place with us.” 

_ “I don’t think it matters for anybody,” Molly said. “I don’t care where anybody’s from. It’s nice. I certainly don’t care where I’m from.”  _

Beau smiled. Molly had been right, the past don’t mean shit. She was here now. And she was happy. 


End file.
